147xxxx

Making your latte, working with the motto "just say yes," dealing with the hobos, the clueless, the regulars, and amazing(ly dumb) customers. I'm your starbucks barista.



Aug 10
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I just make the coffee not the cookies

  • 147xxxx: Hey what can I get for you today?
  • customer: how fresh are the uhm... cinnamon swirl coffee cakes?
  • 147xxxx: Well we got them in this morning, and we just opened up what they were packed in a bit ago
  • customer: ...but... how fresh are they?
  • 147xxxx: uhm... really fresh? ha, sorry. We got them in today and they're still very soft
  • customer: well... don't you make them in the morning?
  • 147xxxx: excuse me?
  • customer: Don't you make your pastries in the morning?
  • 147xxxx: Like... us personally in the store?
  • customer: yeah
  • 147xxxx: NO haha sorry, but no, they're shipped from bakeries
  • customer: ... oh... really? I had no idea
  • SERIOUSLY?! You really thought that we made them ourselves? Weren't you surprised that where ever you go in the whole world, we were able to make the lemon loaves look and taste exactly the same?
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Aug 09
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Dear Coworker,

I love that you are super friendly with customers.  Its really great that you know their names and go out of your way to make them feel special.

But when you’re double baring with me in the middle of a rush, I’d really appreciate it if you’d help me with the 14 drinks I have and the 9 drink order called out to me instead of drawing stars, hearts, and smiley faces on Vincent’s quad with a splash for two minutes.

Thaaaaanks,

147xxxx

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Aug 08
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Aug 07
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This is your first time in starbucks?! Well well well we had no idea. I’m Thomas. Welcome to starbucks. Nice to meet you too - Thomas. So glad you guys came in here today. This is EXCITING!
My coworker when a giggly European couple admitted to us that it was their first time in a Starbucks. My coworker is absolutely hilarious.  He took of his hat and shook their hands while he introduced himself.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  When they were leaving, they turned around and said “goodbye Thomas!”  So cute.
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Aug 06
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So yesterday morning at 4:30AM, I’m walking my 2 minute walk to the subway station, and I see a truck from starbucks’s delivery company parked almost right outside of my building. I thought it was kind of odd since there wasn’t a starbucks close by. Well… okay, I suppose there is ALWAYS a starbucks close by, but the truck wasn’t parked right in front of one. As I started to pass the truck, I walked a bit closer to see if the delivery guys were in the truck. They were in there and completely passed out sleeping with their mouths wide open. I thought it was hilarious. I looked at the driver and noticed that it was my favorite delivery guy! Now usually I hate most things about that company, but he’s the only one that’s nice to us and always seems to be working harder than the other guys.
I usually see him near the end of my shift around 10 o’clock, and yesterday I saw him as I’m about to start another shift 6 hours later.
When I passed by him though, I couldn’t help but being so jealous of him. At 4.30 am everyone should be sleeping.

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I guess you are what you drink

  • 147xxxx: tall black eye-
  • Tall Black Guy: EXCUSE ME?!?
  • 147: uhm... a tall coffee with 2 shots of espresso in it... a um tall black eye?
  • TBG: OOOH oh okay ha sorry
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Aug 04
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Dear 147xxxx,

My co worker and I both found your blog and we always wish our customers were more entertaining like yours.  We were both wondering if your coworkers know about your blog.  Are you ever worried that you’re manager or district manager is going to find it and then fire you?  Do customers know about your blog? Love your blog tons and please keep the funny stories coming!!!
-Leslie A.K.A.162XXXX

These are all things I’ve definitely given some thought to in the past.  And I’m not talking about the entertaining customers.

My customer’s don’t know about my blog.  Thank god.  Can you imagine?  ”I saw what you wrote about me - AND ITS NOT OKAY THAT YOU’RE OUT OF LEMONADE!!!!”  When I make my exit in 3 weeks, I’m planning on messaging him on facebook and letting him know.  I think he would really appreciate it.

I used to be scared my coworkers would find it and it would be like Harriet the spy and I’d be looking for Rosie O’Donnell for guidance.  But then I realized that I don’t really talk badly about my coworkers.  I’d be more worried that I’d look like a loser, than a traitor.  My coworkers aren’t going to find it - none of them are geeky enough to google anything like starbucks barista or to go on tumblr.

If my old manager found it, I think he’d think it was pretty funny.  If my new manager found it, she’d probably passive agressivly hint that I should quit the blog.

If my district manager found it, she would flip. the. fuck. out.  I imagine walking into my store for work and having her sitting at a table along side my manager, saying “*my name*… we have to speak to you,” and then finding a bs way to fire me.  I thought if this were to happen, I’d say fine.  If a company wants to fire me over making us baristas - the face of their company - seem more human, talking about new promotions, and being pretty damn proud of the brand, then fine.  I’m fired.  DEUCES.

I feel like I’d be able to talk myself out of this situation or at least be able to confidently highlight my positive posts over my how-dumb-can-these-customers-be posts.  What can i say - my dad’s a lawyer.

If I got fired, I also thought it might be a kick to milk all the publicity I could get out of it.  Hey if This is Why You’re Fat and Starbucks saved my Life got book deals, why not me? I kid. I kid.

I just realized that if I ever want to answer questions sent to me, I can’t procrast inate any longer!  You know the drill: send all comments/questions to sb147@nycmail.com

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Can I get an old doughnut?

A borrowed partner asking another partner near the pastry case for a Classic Old Fashioned Doughnut.

I couldn’t stop laughing, and I mention this quote basically every time anyone orders a classic old fashioned doughnut.  I absolutely love working with this partner because she’s so hilarious.  She’s a great barista, but honestly I appreciate her weirdness more than her barista skills.  She’ll speak in the monotone voice and sometimes call drinks out by their cup marking initials.  Yeah, she’ll say it all deadpan, but she knows how funny she is when she says “ICED GRANDE LITE ICE GEE ARRR TEEE ELLL” in her monotone voice.

Another awesome thing about her is that she works and is good friends with my former coworker - who is equally hilariously weird - before she transfered to a less busy store.  My store would love to have her transfer in (and she wanted to as well), but she’s going to Spain to teach English in like 2 months!  How cool for her!  ¡Viva antigua doughnut!

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Permalink

I’M AN IDIOT WHEN I WORK IN THE MORNINGS.

Everyone told me I’d get used to it, but I just can’t really function at 6 in the morning. I told my manager I hate opening. I sucked it up because we needed someone to open, but I am absolutely miserable and constantly counting down until my shift ends. I figured if other people hate opening and say that they aren’t available to do it, why can’t I? Well, I’m still scheduled to open, and this week I’m opening Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Shooooot me now. Today I was planted on bar 2, and I was just so stupid all morning. I couldn’t get into it like I can in the afternoons. I had to write down drinks when they were yelled down to me from the expediter and help make drinks. I guess it doesn’t sound that complicated, but you have to really be aware of everything going on in the back line from the bar side (i.e. look ahead and see what drinks need what milks and check to see if we have enough milk, cold bev, making sure bar 1 person is all stocked up) to the expediter who sometimes calls out a drink to me and sometimes writes it down. Its noisy! It takes a certain savviness, and when I’ve been up since 4:30 am… I just… I just get absolutely retarded. I’d like to think the lack of flow on the floor wasn’t totally my fault, but ha, idk. I probably messed up a million drinks today, so sorry to those customers - our bad. For those of you who open regularly, I don’t know how you do it.

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Aug 03
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artpixie:
Celebrity Crimes on vi.sualize.us
Couldn’t resist reblogging this since Molly Shannon is a regular at my store when she’s in the city.  She’s EXTREMELY NICE like asking everyone how they day is and just being so genuinely friendly.  She always brings in the whole family and the kids are noisy as hell, but behind the bar we just say “oh Molly Shannon - you and those crazy crazy kids.” We let it go because she’s so nice.  and she’s Molly Shannon.  Today, she ordered a bagel for one of her kids and didn’t hear us when we called it out a million times.  My coworker just yelled “HEY MOLLY” and she laughed and came right up.
I must say, Molls, getting a venti soy latte and then coming up 2 hours later asking for a refill of your venti soy latte isn’t… uhm… how it works.  We just never say anything because you’re so ridiculously nice.  and you’re Molly Shannon.
blaablaablaagirlcrushonmollyshannon

artpixie:

Celebrity Crimes on vi.sualize.us

Couldn’t resist reblogging this since Molly Shannon is a regular at my store when she’s in the city.  She’s EXTREMELY NICE like asking everyone how they day is and just being so genuinely friendly.  She always brings in the whole family and the kids are noisy as hell, but behind the bar we just say “oh Molly Shannon - you and those crazy crazy kids.” We let it go because she’s so nice.  and she’s Molly Shannon.  Today, she ordered a bagel for one of her kids and didn’t hear us when we called it out a million times.  My coworker just yelled “HEY MOLLY” and she laughed and came right up.

I must say, Molls, getting a venti soy latte and then coming up 2 hours later asking for a refill of your venti soy latte isn’t… uhm… how it works.  We just never say anything because you’re so ridiculously nice.  and you’re Molly Shannon.

blaablaablaagirlcrushonmollyshannon

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Aug 02
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Sometimes I wish I could take pictures of my regulars without looking like a creepster

I’d really love documentation of these awesome two ladies who come on a daily basis.  They’re these two older women, who’s relationship we’re still trying to figure out.  At first we thought they were romantic partners, but now we just think they’re partners in crime.  Definitely roommates.  Perhaps sisters.

They bring in their own mugs and always get decaf coffee.  At night we don’t regularly brew decaf, and I dislike telling people they have to wait 4 minutes for their coffee (not as much as I dislike pouring out an untouched batch of coffee).  When I tell them that we don’t have decaf ready, they’re always so nice about it and usually make a point to say that they don’t mind waiting because it will be nice and fresh just for them.

Sometimes they come in the morning and one of them gets a plain bagel toasted with butter (no knife!) along with the decafs, but I think they come mostly at night.

One of them has these awesome big blue framed glasses, and she wears her hair in a pony tale.  Well most of her hair.  She has a small braid on either side of her face that just hang down.  I have no idea when or if this hair style was ever popular but I just love it.  I’ve never seen her without that look.  The other one’s look is less ostentatious, with thin framed glasses and grey short wavy hair.

The other morning while I was doing a slide, the non-braided woman put on a bicycle helmet and said to her friend and myself “well… up, up, and away!” and her friend goes “oh yes!”

So cute.

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Jul 31
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Today was kind of stressful.  There was a point for maybe 20 minutes or so where we had a constant stream of customers with a new partner and a borrowed on tills and me (of course) on bar.   The new partner wasn’t that secure on calling and marking drinks, so I had to double check most of the orders that she called out.  The borrowed partner was stressin me out on top of this because she would blindly call out drinks to me without seeing if it was a good time.  Like I would be right in the middle of calling and handing out drinks to customers to customers and she’s all iced grande sugar free cinnamon dolce soy light iced latte.  When you’re calling a drink out, you have to make sure that the person is ready for you to call it or else you just have to repeat it again or say “you got it?” like a million times.  I think we can all agree that this is a time waster.

So I’m in the middle of everything - you know, iced grande unsweetened passion tea lemonade this, iced venti skinny vanilla that - and some of my favorite regulars (a group of guys who work at this music venue) come in.  A friendly face in the middle of some craziness can be really calming, so I’m pretty happy to see them.

So I’m making small talk with them while I finish their drinks, and I get my next drink called to me - iced venti vanilla red eye.  OH HAY, I know who’s drink that is!  Another favorite regular of mine - the fashion student who is a real life Ken doll!  so happy to see him too!  I had an afternoon full of non regulars and now I get two at the same time!  Awesome.

So I turn around to put the shot in the red eye and the borrowed partner calls out a drink to me, but before she can finish “double short with room americano” I hear this Boston accent saying “hay youuu.”  It was my favorite regular who’s been coming in for the 2 years I’ve been there, and works at the comedy club around the block.  ANOTHER FAVORITE REGULAR.

I say “this is crazy! All of my favorites are here right now!”  and “ken” says that it looks like the planets have all aligned for me.  It was an awesome 3 or 4 minutes, and I totally lost all concentration for the drinks that came after that (one of my favorite coworkers came to my rescue and marked the next few cups after regularmania).  Now that I think about it was kind of weird seeing these guys I know well separately together all standing around the handoff counter.

One of them mentioned me leaving (and if they’d be any staaahbucks in prague EDIT: there’s at least one) and so I had to break the news that I was leaving to the regular that didn’t know about it.  Besides my hilarious coworkers, I’m probably going to miss my regulars the most :(

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Jul 30
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We got head sets at work

AND I HATE THEM.  I walked in the other day and the all five partners on the floor had them on, and they were dealing with only three customers.  It looked all kinds of silly.  My store really isn’t that big.  We don’t really need to shout except in the morning when there’s a lot of noise in our store.  How much more like mcdonalds and less like a coffee shop can we go?

It might be my ADD, but I tried to work with them on, and I didn’t last five minutes.  My coworker kept saying funny things to me over them so I’d start laughing, and then I would think of something funny to say in retrurn and then I wouldn’t be able to get it out b/c I’d be laughing.  This makes me look like a crazy person.

The only reason I like them is because it makes me feel like Madonna.  And we don’t have to be right next to each other to talk about a cute customer.

One coworker in particular (the one who got me to try it for the first and only time) LOVES them.  He decided to put one on in the afternoon.  It was pretty hysterical since no one else was wearing one.

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Jul 29
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  • Customer: Can I have an grade iced coffee?
  • Coworker: sure
  • Customer: does it come with a free shot of sugar free?
  • Coworker: uhm, the sugar free syrups? yeah, it's no cost to add sugar free syrups to iced coffee.
  • Customer: What kind of sugar free syrups do you have?
  • Coworker: vanilla, hazelnut, caramel, and cinnamon dolce.
  • Customer: Okay... sugar free cinnamon dolce.
  • 147xxxx: The iced grande size usually gets 4 pumps of syrup-
  • Customer: oh god, no
  • 147xxxx: ... alright, so one pump? two?
  • Customer: yeah, two.
  • 147xxxx: (after I make drink) alright, here's the iced grande 2 pump SFCD iced coffee-
  • Customer: unsweetened?
  • 147xxxx: ... well it has the 2 pumps of SFCD syrup.
  • Customer: unsweetend?
  • 147xxxx: it only has the 2 pumps of SFCD that you asked for.
  • Customer: Okay (takes a sip) - can you pour some of this out. ITS WAY TOO SWEET.
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Jul 28
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