147xxxx

15 Things I Could Do Without in 2009

I was looking back at all of my posts from the past year and realize that well uh, I kind of...

Dear 147xxxx,

Hello barista! I have a question for you, and I don’t think I’m the only one...

Here’s a chart that shows my coffee bias over the years. ...

“I like coffee so much that I have tea for breakfast: The...”
— Christopher Niemann

Twas the night before Christmas, all through the cafe
 Every customer was friendly, even...

Alright, so Christmas is coming up, and if you don’t...

Listen

Coffee war brews between McDonald's,...

NEW YORK (CNN) — McDonald’s new ad campaign is taking a non-too-subtle jab at...

I'M THE BEST EMPLOYEE EVER

I say this because who else would say yes (or not be able to say no) when the manager asks me to...

This situation caused us to close 10...

Awesome Partner: Oh, sorry we're closed-
The drunkest girl EVER: (this girl wasn't just like tipsy, she was WASTED. She wasn't like an old hobo drunk on a bottle of Jack, either. She was really well dressed, and I guess had to stop partying because... well, we'll get to that.) I have to use the bathroo- where am I?
AP: you're at starbucks *blaablaamystorelocation* you'll have to leave. We're closed-
TDGE: I haaaAAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM
AP: you can't. you have to leave, sorry.
TDGE: I HAVE TO I HAVE TO I SHITTED MY PANTS PLEASE
AP: no... you can't we're closed
TDGE: PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEAAASE
AP: NO you have to le-
TDGE: PLEEEEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
AP: NO
TDGE: PLEASE PLEEEAAS PLE-
AP: NO
TDGE: PLEEEASE I HAVE TO I SHITTED MY PANTS I HAVE TO PLEASE YOU HAVE TO
AP: FINE BUT IF YOU AREN'T OUT IN A MINUTE, I'M CALLING THE POLICE
TDGE: OKAY. WHERE AM I?
AP: ... I TOLD YOU. STARBUCKS *AHMYLOCATION*
TDGE: WHERE IS IT? BATHROOM??
AP: YOU. ARE. RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF IT... (after she goes in) If she isn't out soon, I'm going to clock out and knock her out.
sorry for all of the caps, but they were completely necessary

can I have shots of espresso and water,...

Birkin Bag Mommy: I'll have a tea... and, hon, what do you want?
Daughter, seriously like 8 years old: I just want a tall steamed milk and mocha sauce.
BBM: k she wants steamed milk and mocha sauce
147xxxx: so like a hot chocolate?
DSL8YO: NO
147xxxx: a hot chocolate is mocha, milk, and a pump of vanilla, but we can make it without the vanilla.
BBM: no, she just wants steamed milk and mocha sauce - not a hot chocolate
147xxxx: (to girl) ... do you want the whipped cream?
DSL8YO: yeah.
147xxxx: (calling it out) tall no vanilla hot chocolate
BBM: no, she doesn't want a hot chocolate
147xxxx: Right ... without the one pump of vanilla we add in, a hot chocolate is just what she wants, which is what he's making.
BBM: that's a hot chocolate?
DSL8YO: moooooommmmmmm I just want steamed milk and mocha sauce!!!
BBM: she DOESN'T want a hot chocolate

“Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death, and sweet...”
— Turkish Proverb

So what did you mean to be like?

Customer... err random person that came in: I don't mean to be cheap, but can I have a free cookie?
147xxxx: uhm... sorry, what did you say?
C...ERPTCI: I don't want to come off as cheap - can I have a free cookie?
147xxxx: oh, sorry, I can't just give away food or drinks.
C...ERPTCI: C'mon, I'm just asking for a cookie.
147xxxx: Sorry.
C...ERPTCI: UGH
Why the hell would I just give something like that out for free? Because you're young and clean cut? Well you aren't young, clean cut, AND all that cute - so hellnah, brother.

A BALDWIN CAME IN TODAY

It wasn’t the 30 Rock Baldwin, nor was it the governor/tranny loving dirty sexy money baldwin....